This track was so hilarious omg, and so nostalgic (Reigisa I missed you)! Audio credit goes to wakoaime!
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Rei: Who’s the Joker?
Nagisa: Okay Rei-chan, between the three cards that I am currently holding, right, middle, or left…which one will you choose?
Rei: The middle card is strangely sticking out…Nagisa-kun, you don’t actually think that I will fall for some old trick-of-the-hat like that, do you?
Nagisa: Ah, how rude,Rei-chan~! I would never try to trick you~!
Makoto: Nagisa vs. Rei I guess.
Haruka: Guess so.
Nitori: I’ve suddenly gotten really nervous too.
Rin: Why are YOU nervous?
Nagisa: Come on come on, Rei-chan. Which one will you take?
Rei: It’s obvious the joker is on the left, so I’ll take the MIDDLE ONE! AHAHA SEE! I’m safe.
Nagisa: Darnit. Okay next I’m going to draw from Ai-chan. Here I go! All right— I got a pair! Only one card left to get!
Ai: So then, it’ll be my turn to draw from Rin-senpai’s pile. Um…this one! Darn, no pairs.
Rin: All right, I’ll be getting Haru’s card. What the hell Haru, why do you only have one card left? Damnit.
Haru: I’m done with my pile.
Makoto: Okay, then I’ll pick from Rei’s pile. Oh man, no pairs.
Nagisa: Hehehe, Rei-chan. So you finally made it this far, ey?
Rei: Nagisa-kun, that last card you’re holding is most definitely the Joker, especially after that trap you tried to pull on me. Even though I’m a bit reluctant, I’ve made my resolution! WHAT THE?!?! THIS IS NOT THE JOKER?!
Nagisa: Yay! I’m done with my hand!
Rei: Nagisa-kun, what is the meaning of this?
Nagisa: Huh? I’ve never said that I was holding the Joker.
Everyone: WHAT?!?!?!?
Rin: Wait, if it’s Nagisa, then…
Ai: Who would be holding the Joker?
Nagisa: No way, it can’t be! What if Rei-chan was holding the Joker the whole time and was just pretending to not have it?
Rei: Why would you think I would do something like that?
Rin: Hey Rin, confess now!
Ai: Yes, it’s important to confess at times like this.
Rei: I told you, I don’t have the Joker!
Makoto: Come on, come on! Don’t argue over Old Maid!
Nagisa: Don’t give in, Mako-chan! We men take our game VERY seriously, so we must stick with the rule and themes!
Rin: Okay, Rei. CONFESS NOW!
Makoto: Wait you guys, hold up!
Rin: Hey Haru, Makoto, help us out!
Makoto: Like I said, hold up…
Rei: Fine then, accuse me all you want!
Makoto: Uh… guys?
Ai: Ryugazaki-san, confess please! Then take half of all my cards.
Rei: Why the hell do I have to take cards because of this!?!?!?!?
Nagisa: Rei-chan, Santa Claus won’t give you presents because of this!
Ai: Ryugazaki-san!
Rin: REI!!!
Rei: LIKE I SAID, I DON’T HAVE THE FREAKINGGGGGG JOKERRRRRR~~~!!!!!
Makoto: Ahhhh, Rei. I’m so sorry! I actually had the Joker the whole time…
Haru: Makoto, is it really okay to not tell him?
Makoto: EH!?
Haru: The fact that you had the Joker.
Makoto: I wanted to tell him, but I just couldn’t find the chance to tell him…
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T/N: Old Maid’s rules in Japan are basically the same as anywhere else– the person who gets left with the Joker loses lol