The Signs as 50% Off Quotes

myjellybat:

Aries: “This is it. This is the year I get my penis back from that dolphin who stole it”
Taurus: “Why he touchin’ my man! WHERE HE GOIN’ WITH MAH MAN!” 
Gemini:   “Oh no. I got a flashback boner”
Cancer:  “Swim team nothing! I want that boy to be my bride!”
Leo:  *Booty Booty Booty Booty rockin’ everywhere* “Bitch you gonna be mine”
Virgo:  “I’m sinning tonight!”
Libra: “Painting sure is fun. You know what else is fun? Killing your best friend.”
Scorpio: “What’s up sluts! Guess who just got out of prison!”
Sagittarius: “THEY’RE MY OSTRICHES!”
Capricorn:  “Do not be alarmed! I’m about to be hilarious!”
Aquarius:  “USURPER!!”
Pisces: “The loser has to commit… Swimpuku.” 

ofmicnmen:

learning2swim:

I think relationships in general are over romanticized like at the end of the day I’m pretty sure a good relationship is just two people who know how to hang out and talk to each other not whether or not they can right all your wrongs or paint a picture of a thousand suns with the breath from your lungs or some shit

THANK YOU